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The secret life of… Dr. Fye Nantial Krycis

The secret life of… Dr. Fye Nantial Krycis

Millions have suffered financial losses due of his underhanded dealings. Meet Dr. Fye Nantial Krysis, the man behind the world's worst economic meltdown.

March 2, 2009 3:43 by

You could call him obese, he wouldn’t mind. You could even call him an underhanded sleaze, and he might agree with you. But for all his faults, Dr. Krycis doesn’t discriminate. The entire world, from Iceland’s idyllic villages to the dusty, old town in Sanaa, Yemen, has suffered the effects of the financial crisis, and in many cases the outcomes are heartbreaking.

In the Arab world, Krycis’s arrival was unannounced. In fact, numerous nations in the Gulf refused to acknowledge his threat, insisting that there isn’t room for a Krycis in the region. Nevertheless, by the fall of 2008, journalists and analysts predicted that the GCC was in for a shock, and that eventually governments, banks, property developers and all those who invested heavily in the region’s boom will have to contend with the reality that not only does Krycis exist, but he’s already settled in the region, and waiting for the right time to burst the Gulf’s bubble. Which he did.

According to Kuwait’s foreign minister, Sheikh Mohammed Sabah Al Salem Al Sabah, Arab nations have lost $2.5 trillion in four months and led to the cancellation of 60 percent of development projects in the Gulf. In Dubai alone, Rera announced that its list of property developers has shrunk by 47 percent to 427; given the emirate’s real estate history, news of developers and projects going under was in sharp contrast to what investors expected to hear.

But that’s the problem with Krycis, isn’t it. He’s a man of unprecedented power and presence, and his influence is felt everywhere, in every industry, every company, and sadly, in every household.

One Kipp commentator, Ranjit, described the doctor’s influence as a disease; and in spite of its deadliness, it has not been treated successfully. It is this disease, explained Ranjit, that the doctor has spread to billions of unsuspecting victims, condemning them and those around them to financial losses greater than they had imagined: “The [treatments] so far in countries around the world,” wrote Ranjit, “have been to contain the symptoms rather than to contain the disease itself. One of the key treatments has been isolation. Most of those who catch the disease are quick to quarantine themselves and try to contain the disease particularly by distancing themselves from most if not all those employed by them.”

He added: “Another treatment has been to give massive injections. In this treatment, billions of immuno-positive organisms are injected to patients to rejuvenate and revive them. The program has resulted in a heated debate on who should be treated first; a few of those who need very big injections or, many of those who need small injections. Current opinion seems to favor the latter.”

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