Better late than never

Better late than never

So long as we get the job done, what’s the harm in showing up at 10.30 clutching a bag of Hula-hoops and a copy of Loaded magazine?

March 1, 2011 3:38 by shafeer

According to some US based research, the dubious state of the jobs market is encouraging more people to get to work on time.

Careerbuilder.com found that 15 percent of workers said they arrive late to work once a week or more, down from 16 percent in 2009 and 20 percent in 2008. The site assumes that this is because more people are coming in on time, but of course it could always be that the slackers got fired, thinks Kipp…

Anyway the arrive-on-time thing is certainly not true of Kipp; since the recession began we have resolutely maintained the tardiness for which we have become famous, strolling into the office in t-shirt and flip flops whenever we choose, a nonchalant air about us (you can get away with anything if you’re nonchalant enough). And if the boss demands to know why we’re late, we just shrug and say “We’re creative, and we live by our own rules.”

Well okay, we don’t, we make up some half-baked lie about a trip to the vet for our badger, or something, before cowering at our desk all day. But according to Careerbuilder, that’s not the worst excuse people have used. You see the site also asked people what reasons they gave for showing up late. Most went for traffic problems or lack of sleep, of course, but Careerbuilder also spoke to hiring managers for a few of the more unusual gems. The following are, apparently, excuses genuinely used by late employees:

Employee claimed is car was inhabited by a hive of bees and he couldn’t use the car for two hours until bees left.

Employee claimed it was a delay with public transportation and produced a note signed by “The Bus Driver.”

Employee claimed his hair was hurting his head.

Employee claimed their Karma was not in sync that day.

Employee claimed they got hurt taking a fork out of the dishwasher.

“While workers will sometimes be late due to circumstances out of their control, they need to be aware of their companies’ tardiness policies. Regardless of the reason, workers who are running late should always be honest with their managers,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources for CareerBuilder.

Yeah right, whatever. What’s the best excuse you’ve ever heard? Or used?