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Oh the Carnage!

Oh the Carnage!

Dubai’s excessive brunches are a stairwell straight to hell, if one journo has anything to say about it—bring on the hyperbolic grand sweeping generalization.

October 27, 2011 4:44 by



Kipp’s a fan of investigative journalism (especially here in the United-and-Censored Arab Emirates). What we aren’t a fan of is lazy sensationalist yellow journalism, which, we are sorry to say, we encountered in this week’s Xpress.

Now, don’t get us wrong, ordinarily the staff at Xpress does go where journalists in the UAE usually shy from: whether we are talking about abortions, false job recruiters and substance abuse. But one journo really did cross the line with her over the top depiction of the wild Friday Dubai drunken brunch or “drunch” as she likes to call it.

Here’s a taste of what we mean:

A woman falls flat on her back, unable to keep her balance even while seated. The man next to her laughs so hard, he falls over too. Drinks are spilled, food falls over. The music’s so loud the woman’s screams are barely heard.

A couple at the adjacent table helps her up and piles her with what won’t be her last drink of the day. Diners all around laugh, drink, misbehave, dance, eat, drink some more. Husbands flirt with women who would never be their wives. Children watch helplessly as their parents continue to embarrass them. In the corner a fight breaks out between two macho types, both barely able to stand on their own, the alcohol interfering with their rationality.

All through the chaos, the bubbly flows freely, more red and white consumed than what seems humanly possible.”

Kipp tried to limit ourselves to just a sentence or two from the article, but we really were spoilt for choice. Where in the world do we begin? With the food and drinks falling all over the place, the husbands flirting with women who ‘would never be their wives’ or how about the inhuman consumption of alcohol? Having recently spent a rather laid back afternoon at one of Dubai’s most well known brunches, we feel a little disappointed we didn’t witness any degree of carnage that even comes close to what was described above. Maybe, it’s because we keep company with the low-key type?  Nah, it is probably because those ‘descriptions’ are nothing but hyperbolic grand sweeping generalisations typical of someone who has never even attended one of Dubai’s legendary brunches.

We can’t either ignore the simplistic deductions that seem to link one particular Aussie brunch to the infamous ‘sex on the beach incident’: “unfortunately, this notorious party, unofficially dubbed Dubai’s most famous brunch, was first brought to international fame due to Michelle Palmer and her sex on the beach case in 2008. Palmer’s actions were a direct result of an all-afternoon drinking fest at this Aussie brunch.”

But of course, the incident was “a direct result” of the brunch-the predisposition of the individuals concerned had nothing at all to do with it. Of course, the “drunches” of Dubai fall nothing short of absolute carnage—we are talking of the type of raucous and revelry otherwise only acceptable on the beaches of Majorca or some part island the kids go to like Ibiza. Not.

C’mon Xpress. We’ve seen you do some admirable work. Why stoop this low into the kind of stereotyping and generalization that we all don’t wish on ourselves.

We could go on and on about this exposing expose, but we’d rather not. Instead, we ask you to inundate the comment section of Xpress with your views on the article! And tell them Kipp said hi.



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