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Things that anger Kipp

Things that anger Kipp

Kipp needs to get a few things off its chest. You’d better take a seat, ’cos it’s rant time.

January 12, 2011 2:59 by

This has been building for a while, so you’re going to have to bear with Kipp while we go ballistic for a bit about a few things that appear to need saying to people in Dubai:

  • When at the supermarket, believe it or not you have hands. You are capable of putting things into a bag yourself. It won’t kill you, it probably won’t even make you sick (at least, we don’t think there is any medical evidence suggesting it will). What it will do will save every, yourself included time, as the man or woman working the till won’t have to stop serving people so that they can turn and bag your items that you are too lazy or too good to bag yourselves. So stop standing around staring into space looking moody and do everyone a favour.
  • Indicating does not give you a divine right to pull out. All it does is signal your intention to pull out when an appropriate space opens up, so stop treating it as some sort of invincibility button that lets you plough in whatever direction you like. Also, the white lines in the road divide the lanes, they are not there for you to follow. And while we’re at it, how about moving to a slow lane if you don’t intend to speed up to match the other traffic in your lane?
  • The down button on a lift stops a lift that is traveling downwards so that you can get on board and travel downwards also. Similarly, the up button stops a lift that is traveling upwards so that you can also go up. They do not summon a lift down to you, or up to you – if you expect this all you will get is a lit going in the wrong direction. Also, pushing both if you’re heading in one direction does not call a lift faster, it simply stops a lift full of people not heading in your direction and wastes their time.
  • Rain and fog do not automatically demand hazards lights. An accident in the rain or fog, or an unexpected event that may prove a danger, does demand hazard lights. Do you understand? If there is a hazard people need to know about, use your lights. It is safe to say that most people are aware of rain and fog, we think.
  • Sit you child down in the car and make him or her wear a seatbelt. Seriously. Do it. No exceptions. Otherwise you are basically dramatically increasing your child’s chance of death. We’re pretty sure most parents don’t want that (although judging by the number of kids clambering around cars, maybe we’re wrong).

Anything we missed? Anything you’d like to get off your chest? Feel free to let us know now, because this stuff is definitely better left said. Otherwise Kipp get mad. Turn green like Incredible Hulk. Start speak like this. Rip shirt. No one want that. Nice shirt. GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

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  1. Raj on January 13, 2011 10:29 am

    Some more rants
    – repeatedly jabbing your finger at the lift button won’t make it go any faster either.
    – your lordships do not have a God-given right to go to the head of a line of traffic at an exit, and cut in right at the end- its the worst type of rude behavior.

  2. Plum Endemon on January 13, 2011 3:13 pm

    Where do I start?
    – I’m not standing in the queue for my health so stop trying to pushing in front – wait your turn.
    – if you are driving behind me and you want the next exit which is about 100 metres away, don’t overtake and cut me up – just wait 2 seconds!
    – I’m already on the roundabout and I have right of way over all you nasty people trying to push onto it.
    – just because you see the exit you need to get off the roundabout doesn’t mean you head straight for it without checking the lane next to you – strangely enough there is probably someone in it.
    – if you don’t know the answer to my question, just say so – I’d rather hear that than a work of fiction.

  3. S.K. on January 19, 2011 7:19 am

    “If you want to go fast get to the fast lane. Don’t flash your lights at me on the slower lanes.”
    “Dude in the 4WD- for God’s sake use your indicator while changing lanes. It’s there for a reason!”
    “Putting on the Hazard lights doesn’t give you the right to park in the right lane waiting for your tea and sandwich from the roadside cafeteria. Find a parking space!!”


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