Kippreport investigates if oil prices aren’t the only cause for the market slumpAugust 27, 2015 12:00
Laugh Out Loud
As July 1, 2012 is International Joke Day, Kipp presents to you a few business related jokes we found on the internet.
July 1, 2012 2:00 by kippreport
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his ownopened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, andannounced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest signof all over his own shop. It read: ‘MAIN ENTRANCE’
Several weeks after a young man had been hired; he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.”
“Well,” the young man replied, “in your advertisement you said you
wanted somebody with imagination.”
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet
above this field.”
“You must work in Technical Support,” says the balloonist.
“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless.”
The man below says: “You must be in management.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re still in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”