Ten things Dubai residents should stop doing in 2013
Here are some of the things Kipp and some of our readers thought should be stopped or banned if necessary in the new year.
December 12, 2012 10:43 by Muhammad Aldalou
It’s 12/12/12 today and apparently that’s special, because it won’t happen again. Much like when people project their idea of fun, happiness and adventure on you and say, “oh man, you only turn 19 or 21 once.” Now Kipp had to pull an all-nighter looking for research material and skimming through complex mathematical formulas for this but we finally have the answer. You only turn every age once, even if you’re Benjamin Button.
To commemorate both this day and the upcoming new year – if the world doesn’t end that is – Kipp thought we would bring you a list of things WE think you shouldn’t be doing in 2013. We welcome your own suggestions below or if you just want to tell us what a horrible job we’ve done we’ll be more than happy to read it as well. Some of these have been suggested for us:
1) YOLO – It is typical of humanity to take a concept that should essentially encourage us to be good people and distort it to our own sick convenience. When was the last time you read, “I’m feeding the homeless for the next week because You Only Live Once?” Stop it. Stop it now.
2) Instagram – We’re not telling you not to use it because it’s a great app – although professional photographers will tell you otherwise. Just please don’t be so pretentious about it. Almost all pictures look good in Instagram and since 74.6 percent of Dubai’s population have already taken their pictures with the Burj behind them, it is no longer unique. Stop it. Lastly, are you familiar with ‘don’t waste food, there are starving people in the world’? Well, don’t take pictures of food because there are starving people in the world.
3) Dubai is hot – No more posting pictures of the temperature during the Summer months. We all know it’s hot!
4) Ban the word ‘Needful’ – Oh, how this word brings hell to many people. In fact, it stirred up quite a discussion on Twitter yesterday. There is absolutely no good excuse for using this word, and when you phrase it as ‘please do the needful’ it just makes you sound pretentious and unwilling to elaborate on a problem.
5) Foodie – Liking food doesn’t make you one. We all like food. Very few people would rather consume meals in the form of pills unless they’re extremely busy. ‘Foodie’ is a term coined in 1981 and describes a ‘person devoted to refined sensuous enjoyment’. An aficionado of good food and drink is someone knowledgeable. Don’t snap a picture of Nachos and call yourself a foodie.
6) Your, You’re – This is an old one I know but I am not even referring to just anyone. I am talking about supposedly educated professionals and even PR companies that are still adamant about getting this wrong. You’re is you are as in; you are beautiful.
7) Hating the present – Wishing that you were born in a different generation is cute sometimes. No, I lied it’s annoying. See how easy it was for us both to lie through our teeth? Unless you’re thinking about visiting your great-grandfather, chances are you are more than happy in this generation but you just enjoy futile moaning.
Malls aren’t sunny – If there was ever a time when wearing sunglasses indoors was considered ‘cool’ or even acceptable it would have been in 2004. Stop it now.
9) Celebrity trends – People in Dubai, I sincerely doubt that anything is achieved when you trend hashtags like #Bring1DtoDubai. If you honestly believe that managers of internationally acclaimed artists take this into consideration when deciding their tour destinations then please feel free to continue. Otherwise, stop it.
10) ‘Twocation’ – Will you for the love of all things sacred stop tweeting the names of people you are with unless it’s in extremely professional or urgent circumstances. Tweeting “I am out for lunch enjoying half a salad with @blahblah, @blahblah and @blahblahblah” is not an interesting line to read. Not even for the people dining with you.
We definitely want to hear more from you, please write all your suggestions below and we will filter them all through – as long as they’re respectful.