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The Zain Saga: Oscar-worthy?

The Zain Saga: Oscar-worthy?

The Twilight Saga has been a huge literary and cinematic success; unfortunately, the same will probably not be said of the Zain Saga.

February 24, 2011 1:27 by

If the Zain saga is ever committed to film, Kipp likes to think we would be played by that guy who spends almost the entire length of the Twilight films with his shirt off. (We were going to criticize him for that though; frankly, any guy with abs like that would bowl around with his shirt off too.) Anyway, our character could valiantly report on the ups and downs of the deal despite the constant threat of some danger or other, all the while maintaining a kind of distant aloofness from that girl-next-door type who works downstairs.

Our tortured romance would play out against the backdrop of Etisalat and Zain’s ongoing tussle. Obviously, the film would have to make a few adjustments for popularity’s sake. Etisalat could be a gang of day walking-vampires, intent on conquering the world, and Zain could be a rival gang of werewolves. Or vice versa, it doesn’t really matter – everyone loves vampires and werewolves just now. Chuck in a boy wizard and a mental ballerina and we’re golden.

Heaven knows, we’d have to do something to keep people’s attention, because the current will-they-won’t-they plotline is enough to put Kipp to sleep, and we’ve had a can of Red Bull. We’ll give you a quick update here, so that any budding screenwriters can get to work on the screenplay post haste:

This week it has been reported that Sheikh Khalifa Ali Al Sabah believes the Etisalat deal is now dead and buried, presumably courtesy of a wooden stake through its heart. Sheikh Khalifa, who has been one of the most vociferous opponents to the deal, says that the failure to sell Zain Saudi is that stake, the rejection last week of all three offers for the company evidently the deadly application to Etisalat’s chest (because, as you wll know, Zain Saudi must be sold to facilitate the deal as Etisalat already operates in Saudi Arabia with Mobily).

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